I Will Not Be Ashamed

I constantly a work in progress. I am never satisfied with where I am at. I always want to be a better person-more compassionate. I want to be wiser, humbler, and more discerning. As long as my physical needs are taken care of, then I don’t need anything more.

I want a lot of things because I have seen what happens when you stagnate. I’ve seen what happens when you don’t consider new ideas. I’ve seen what happens when you prioritize comfort over anyone else. I’ve seen when your eyes skip over others like they don’t even exist. There’s nothing more terrifying for me than to become like that.

I have done these things. I have had them done to me. I’d much rather they be done to me than for me to do these things. This is because in my religion, everything is first spiritual then physical. Our minds, bodies, and spirits are connected, but it is the spirit that is key. Our lives may be short, but our souls remain for eternity.

Everyone is going to die someday. The only thing that will outlive us is our actions.

I want my actions to be beautiful. I want them to bloom like flowers in the spring-vivid, beautiful, and alive. When I am alive it is like spring. When I die, it will be like winter. I want their colors to stand out to remind those I leave behind that I lived a beautiful life.

(Come winter, I want to sleep in peace. Crying people are not conducive to sleeping in peace. I am not pleasant when my sleep is disturbed. I will haunt you if you cry.I can see the headlines now: Local Blogger Wants to Die Pretty, Threatens to Haunt Mourners if They Cry. That almost became the title, you know.)