Today, I didn’t get the chance to do my meditation exercise (Qi Gong) that I use to help keep my anxiety under control. I went to church today and that helped, but I was still feeling insecure and like no one liked me and oh no they probably think I’m an idiot and all those things that is basically my anxiety talking.
It is stupid. It is so stupid! The stupidest!
Here I am finally making some gains and then my anxiety tries to get me to sabotage myself. I’ve fallen in that trap before and I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. Anxiety has a way to bring down your self esteem like no other. Peace is harder to find when you’re so caught up with distractions and stuck in your head that you can’t feel it.
Well you know what?
I am not doing this anymore. I am not going to play this game. I am not letting anyone make me feel worthless, especially not myself.
So after I ranted in the car on the way home from church, once I got home, I turned off the engine and sat in the empty car to remind myself of all my good traits. Every time I get insecure like this, I’m going to do it until it’s not even a conscious habit anymore. Want to make me feel worthless? Well too bad! I ain’t letting you! D:<