I am learning to look forward and not look back. It’s been hard because I have a tendency to go in circles picking and picking at my metaphorical scabs in search for some sort of reason or additional lesson to learn. I was listening to a guided meditation video for letting things go on YouTube (it’s Jason Stephenson for those interested). A friend had sent me the link a while back, but I only just now got to it.
He made a really good point in that video, that in western culture, there’s a commonly held belief that if you are organized and prepared with plans, contingency plans, and contingency plans for your contingency plans, it will keep you safe. However, this belief is wrong. There are things in life that you can’t control and part of letting go is accepting that. Sometimes there wasn’t anything you could’ve done to have changed the outcome. Even if there was, you can’t change the past. You can only change the future.
That’s true isn’t it?
I can’t change what happened and I wouldn’t want to. While there are some things that only time can heal, I came out of this stronger. All the questions and insecurities that had been buried deeply in my heart, including those I wasn’t even consciously aware of, were addressed.
That’s what trials in life do for you. You face yourself in a way you never faced yourself before. You recognize your weaknesses and it almost crushes you, but once you emerge from out of the gloom, you find that you were stronger than you realized. It may take a while, but in time, you can learn from this and grow into someone different than who you were before.
I guess the question here is, who do you want to be?