On Love

Earlier today, I said I didn't understand why people loved or liked me. Not really. Ever since I was young, I had a sense of desperation, like whatever was good in my life would be taken away. I think a large part of that was the way I was treated when I was younger. Today, …

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Even Small Choices Are Mine Too

There'sa social activity at my church that I should go to. I mean, I don't have a reason not to go. So I should right? Maybe my reason can be as simple as preference? Because I would rather do something else? Either choice is fine. I'm not hurting anyone. It's such a small decision. Maybe …

Just Keep Swimming

Sometimes, there are times when you could've made a better impression or spoke more softly to others. For the latter, it seemed more like they were having a bad day and losing the debate was the last straw. I tried to make things better, but I didn't really point out their opponents weakness beforehand (since …

I’m Sick Of This

When I was younger, I joked about one day retiring to the mountains of Tibet, but that was only half a joke. Now that I'm older, a part of me still has that desire. Even though I realize that I can't just isolate myself to pursue a more spiritual life as it would prevent me …

Three Thoughts

I've been told this before, but now find myself more than simply contemplating it. I am earnestly trying to apply this to my life. Today, there are three thoughts in my mind: First of all, what is the point if people like me if I don't like myself? While I like being liked very much, …

I Made A Huge Leap Forward

I am so so tired. Recent events have exhausted me over and over. They're the type that fit the phrase "out of the pan and into the fire".  It's something that I can never ever truly convey or fully explain nor is it something I ever will. It's enough to say that it's been a …

I Am Reminded of Certain Things

I finished the arts and crafts project I was working on. There were a few hiccups (OK several) along the way, but once I learned to stop stressing over it, I could think of a way out of my problem. Stress and fear really slow down your brain. It's something I've noticed while in retail. …

Don’t Be Afraid

My idea of personal learning is generally the equivalent of throwing someone who can't swim into a shark and alligator  infested pool of water and hoping they'll learn to swim. Or strapping them down on an operation table and cutting whatever I think doesn't look good and then shoving whatever's left into the shape I …

This Self-Confidence Stuff Is Hard

Am I the only one who thinks this or is it just me? There are a lot of problems in my life and most of them stem from my own self-doubt. Self-doubt makes things worse so I have to learn not to do it. It's sort of a sink-or-swim thing for me. I find that …

Self-Love Is A Form Of Love

Today, I leveled up. I'm seriously so happy about it. There were so many dark thoughts swirling in my head today, but I know from experience that if you give them an inch, they'll take the whole space. I want to release fear, not feed it. So this morning, I thought to myself that I …